God isn’t looking for a business partner, He’s looking for a relationship with His daughter.
– Desi Renken
What does it mean to be God’s Beloved? I don’t know. This is a topic that has stumped me and made me uncomfortable for some years now. It’s a little embarrassing for me to admit, especially since I’ve known God my whole life. I got saved at a young age and grew up in church. So I, of all people, should know what it means to be God’s Beloved right? But I don’t. I’ve always loved God, been in awe of Him and am ever so thankful at what He did for me. And I guess that’s where this topic starts to stump me. He’s already done so much for me. I can’t be His beloved until I’ve paid Him back for what He’s already done.
So I became God’s business partner and tried to earn my way to being His beloved. I went to church most Wednesdays and Sundays, retreats, etc. I listened to my parents, was a good kid and even decided to go to Master’s Commission for a year after high school. Giving God a year of my life? That’s got to be a HUGE payment towards my debt, right? So sign me up! Little did I know God would use this messed up idea in my head as a way to draw me closer so He could start working on that lie. And He’s been working on it ever since.
Master’s Commission taught me so much about God, who He is and how He loves me. I found out that there was nothing I could ever do to pay Him back and that if I never did anything ever again, He would still love me and pursue me the same. My mind was blown. So much so that I ended up doing another year of Master’s Commission, and another one after that, and another, and another… I think you get the idea. With every passing year, God continued to break down this idea I had in my head about paying Him back. He showed me that’s not what He wanted at all.
God isn’t looking for a business partner, He wants a relationship with His daughter.
One definition of Beloved is, “To be dearly loved.” I can’t think of a better picture of this than that of a loving father towards his daughter. I know this picture well because that’s my dad. There’s no one greater in my mind than my dad. He’s my hero, my first love and has my heart. He’s always been there, loved me, supported me, told me I was beautiful and protected me from harm. So when God said He wanted to be my dad, I didn’t understand. I already have a dad and not just any ole dad, but a great one!
I heard stories of kids growing up without a dad or with a bad one. It made sense to me why God wanted to be their dad, but why me? I felt like if I acknowledged God as my dad, I was saying the one I grew up with wasn’t good enough. It’s taken me years to understand that God wasn’t trying to say my dad wasn’t good enough. In fact, He was trying to use my dad as an example.
Matthew 7:11 says, “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
I now know that God wants to have the type of relationship with me that I have with my dad. He wants me to be dearly loved by Him and take me to a deeper level.
I know that God is always there for me but I didn’t realize that He’s always been there.
I know He loves me, but He has always loved me.
When my dad was in the stands at my games cheering me on, so was God. When my dad told me I was beautiful, He gave him the words to say. Now as an adult, there are days when I miss my dad and I miss how he always made me feel safe, loved and special. If there was a problem, he always solved it.
But what do you do when this person of love, strength, and character lives 1500 miles away? You let God be your dad and let yourself be His beloved daughter.
I don’t know exactly how to do this, so I’m letting God lead me. After all, I’m His Beloved and I know He’s excited to show me what that means.
Thank you Desi for sharing. Every week we see your love of God on stage !