“Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your daughter; because you are His daughter”
– Kristin Chez
No one had to teach me how to be unloved.
No one had to tell me that I wasn’t measuring up.
No one had to tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough.
Yet, every time I find myself in a dressing room trying on a new pair of jeans, I find that I am more than gifted in the art of insecurity.
No one had to teach me this skill, but I know where I learned it.
I learned it in these dressing rooms, while my mom tried on new pairs of jeans and she shared her self-criticisms.
I learned it at family reunions, where the women who share my gene pool, my cheek bones and love handles, compared the weight they wanted to lose.
I learned it by the pool, as my mom and her friends would talk about how they weren’t “summer ready.”
No one had to teach me how to be unloved, but they did so without realizing I was learning it from them.
These same women who told me how beautiful I was on a daily basis, couldn’t see themselves the same way; and eventually, I stopped believing them on what they said to me, and I started trusting what they said to themselves.
We didn’t have to learn how to be unloved; but because we have, we now have to unlearn how to be unloved. We have to learn how to become beloved. That process is much more intentional, and much harder, but from what I hear, God is a big fan of helping us renew our minds.
So starting now:
That means we have to say different things to ourselves in the dressing room.
That means we have to pick a different subject at brunch.
That means we have to understand that being summer ready, has more to do with the proper application of spf than it does being “fit.”
That means we praise him in the mirror because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your daughter; because you are His daughter, and your sisters are listening.
Beloved Team Member
I read this, and my heart was breaking. I was told that I was ugly and not good enough from a very young age. I was never smart enough, or good enough in school, I cost my parents money because I was born with club feet and required surgery. My mother had to stay in bed, because my dad’s insurance didn’t start until March, so she had to wait until then for me to be born. The list goes on. I also got pregnant at 18, what a disappointment I was to them over, and over again. I even had three failed marriages. I gave custody of my son to may parents, because I was working two jobs and he and my husband were getting into physical fights. In 1998 I moved from MA to Maine. I needed to physical distance to have a chance at some peace. In 2009, I was drawn to the Baptist in town. It was the first time that I felt like I was truly accepted. On April 18, 2010 I was baptized and I felt loved and a part of a family.
My dad was really accepting, but the rest of the family was not happy with my choice. I really don’t have a relationship with my family, I try to keep in touch with my grandmother and older sister. But, the rest won’t really talk to me. I have a mom-by-choice and some great friends. I am trying to be the woman that God has made me to be.
Oh Pastor Cindy I needed this one today! Thank you!