Ammie Black is a beautiful woman whose heart has been seeking God’s best in her life since the moment she said yes to Him. This last year, Jesus has done a deep redeeming work in her marriage, her heart and in how she sees herself. She is learning to live-loved in a powerful way and sharing what God has done in her as a writer, businesswoman, and Small Group Leader.
When your outside says you’re healthy but your mind knows otherwise…
December 2016 I stepped on my scale at home seeing a number I never thought I’d see. A weight that at my very tall stature of 5’3” I knew was far from healthy and it sure wasn’t cute either! I vowed then and there to change it. This would be how all my problems with work and my marriage would be fixed I just knew it.
January of 2017 I completed a fitness challenge with a Christian trainer who paired Biblical truth with the weight loss journey. I had success and felt excited about getting back to looking my best.
My motivation, however, was still just about making my outside look good. I wanted my husband to notice me more. I wanted to look good in clothes. I wanted people at work to value me and not judge my body. I was focused on my image.
Then came February 23rd. My world spiraled completely off-kilter and for almost a year afterward I wondered if it would ever be right again.
Though I turned to God and I prayed daily about the situation, I continued to work on my outside as if it were still something that would correct the chaos. I was working out, but I was not doing heart work.
And while my image improved greatly, something still wasn’t right. My soul was far from well. I had no peace and no joy in my spirit. And I was counting on the exercise high to get me through my days.
Fast forward to 2018, February again to be precise. (Maybe I need to beware Februarys’…just kidding. I know that’s not how this works). In my zealous exercising, I injured my knee, back, and hip.
Exercising stopped. Then came the hormone and thyroid problems. Weight ballooned. My image tanked. And all of those problems I thought I was fixing by working on my image resurfaced with a vengeance.
My focus had been on the wrong things. I needed work on my spiritual image, not my physical one.
In this broken physical state, I was finally able to turn my attention to God’s word. Through devotionals, Christian podcasts and words from Christian mentors and friends, I took a real look at who I was. More specifically at who God said I was.
I began to look at my identity according to scripture. And to claim His promises over me.
Words like beloved, delighted in, a temple of the Holy Spirit, a co-heir with Christ, and FREE…began to free me from the chains that had me wrapped up in the world’s view of who I was. I could finally see how very loved and valued I was to God. To God!! The Creator of the entire universe valued ME!
His image of me was perfected in His son Jesus Christ’s work on the cross. Nothing could change that or take that away from me. I knew I could root myself in that and not be shaken.
I still want to get my weight back down. I simply don’t feel good at the weight I am at right now. It is unhealthy for me. Yet, this time I have the right perspective and motives to succeed long term. Because I have established my identity in Christ, my image in my mind is based on what God’s word has said is true…I’m not seeking worldly validation. I don’t need to.
God has already validated me through Jesus. He says I’m worthy and that is what really matters. My soul is now well. My body will follow.
These are scriptures that have become precious to me:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love, he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
(This is so cool ladies!! God himself SINGS over us!!)
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” I Corinthians 6:19
“In Christ you have been brought to fullness” Colossians 2:10 (in other words we are WHOLE!)
By Ammie Black